And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
