Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
