Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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