So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
