Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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