everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
