so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
