I hate your face
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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