Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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