You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
