I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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