problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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