Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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