She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
