You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
