And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
