Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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