Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
