her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
