You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
