good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
