Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
