Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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