How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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