I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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