I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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