what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
