Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
