Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
