is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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