some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Too much gin, very little bucket
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
