She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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