belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
