What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
