eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The air was thick with penises
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
