Do you still have your period?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
