Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
