no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
