therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
