mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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