That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
