I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
