Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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