Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
