I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
3 2 1 whiskey
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
