she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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