Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
