He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
