Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
