I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
